Gen Z‘s Riddle of The Sphinx

If you think a guy in flip flops, raw dogging his digits gives you an ick, just imagine emotional incest between your boyfriend and his mother. I was sick to my mouth.

No doubt, she was a helicopter parent, but when she said, “I’m supposed to be your best friend.” – who the hell does this woman think she is… I chuckled for about two seconds when a foul sense crept down my neck, tickling my spine - no way, that’s unheard of, what the efff is this? A throple!?

As I made my way around the corner, I glanced at her fraudulent tear in disbelief while my best friend aka boyfriend caressed her to the core. It was at that moment, my eyes no longer prying, that I realized I was in an unforeseen love triangle.

In retrospect, I wasn’t aware that my boyfriend had been emotionally castrated by his mother. For some reason, my past reflects as a magnet to the super-ego and this attraction was just the beginning of The Oedipus Complex. For those who don’t give a tinker’s damn about Greek Mythology let me explain this ingenious analogy.

Long story short there once was a boy, Oedipus, who unwittingly killed his father and married his mother. The Greek myth gave birth to The Oedipus Complex, a psychoanalysis explaining the inner man emotionally attached to his mommy (i.e., an infatuated man-child who worships his mother).

If you haven’t butt heads with the passionate infallible mother, so far, you’re in luck.

As for the rest of us, let’s be honest: the guy who’s all too good to his mother was charming at first, but in time, became enviably annoying. There’s a difference between an obedient man and someone who’s obsessed with pleasing his mother. Take it from me, a maternal relationship with a mama’s boy from son up to son down is one ship you don’t want to sail.

So, let’s talk about mommy issues and bring awareness to the men who are far too busy being a mama’s boy to worry about being a ladies’ man.

At Mom’s Beck and Call.

An ex of mine - and his mother - called three times too many seven days a week. Making sure to keep him up to date not only on her monotonous regularity but the expectation she had of knowing all the things you Don’t Tell Your Mother. I swore she had the schedule of our X-rated activities in her reminder app - as if talking about it wasn’t enough - there came a point he’d drop whatever he was doing at her beck and call. It felt almost as if she was impinging so deeply, she was there with us doing the dirty. And omg the way she gazed at him with those doe-eyes – literally left me so uncomfortable. What is it with grown men overstepping the boundaries in the sanctity of our relationships by telling their mom EVERYTHING?! - “It’s respectful” As if!

Emotionally Unavailable.

Then there are the men who are so co-dependent, they’re emotionally unavailable. That is because they’re practically dating their mother. And are incapable of putting you first, ever. Sure, he may take the trash out, sleep next to you, and be there for you. On the contrary, you have the label of girlfriend (i.e., the other woman) while she has his heart. Who wants a man who always puts his mother’s needs before his own? How is he ever supposed to prioritize your relationship?!

Serial Monogamist in the making.

Another ex had serious mommy issues. At the time his dating history didn’t seem all too scandalous. Although, he was the type of guy to jump from one girl to the next. Not only was he emotionally unavailable, but Mama’s opinion was all too vital. That is because after six months of dating the infamous mother’s meeting manifested, and I was inevitably added to his smash-and-pass list, and just like that he was on to the next - I had forgotten; I attract guys who worship their moms’ approval. Why does the man-child pay far too much attention to his mother and her opinions?!

Clingy &/or Needy.

Not only is there the over-protective parent, but there’s also the mother who wasn’t there. Either or can curate codependency. So, he’s needy, desperate for the mother he never had, or attached, expecting so much but giving so little. As time goes by you realize how similar your relationship is to that of his mother. In his eyes he unknowingly wants the same type of love from Mommy reciprocated back with you. It’s a dysfunctional game of tug-a-war between validation and recognition - codependence at its finest. His mom is malevolently speculating, awaiting to rave in pleasure with her twisted fantasy as another bad girl bites the dust.

It’s like the Riddle of the Sphinx. What’s nagging with phone calls, holding the key to your man’s heart, jealous of his girlfriends, and placing the perfect prince on a pedal stool far too high?

The Oedipus Mother. (i.e., owner of a Mama’s-Boy and one hell of a Toxic Mother)

Why is it there are so many considerably single yet affiliated guys, and no great independent men? Our generation is so sensitive to this social stigma of a “mama’s boy” but let’s be real. We can all agree these men are all sweet and too good to be true - especially to their mothers.

So, unless you’re willing to become like her in the eyes of them both, then you might want to flee the nest. Because God forbid, he ever will.

Ladies get out while you can and gents flee the co-op before it’s too late.

k.